September 9th, 2010. Right Network launches, Sarah Palin condemns Koran burning Terry Jones and Mr. Obama goes to Cleveland.

Mildly Relevant Sources!
Conservative entertainment website [Right Network]
Palin on Terry Jones Koran burning [Sarah Palin Facebook]
President Obama’s Cleveland speech [Cleveland.com]
Obama goes after Boehner [Politcususa]
Boehner’s policies are no good for Obama [The Atlantic]

Joe Baur is the writer/creator of CHOSA Film, Mildly Relevant News, and co-creator of Throw!Kick!Punch!

You can follow Joe B at twitter.com/mildlyrelevant/

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Just because we keep talking about it doesn’t mean we’re NOT over it.

This morning I awoke to a tweet from Cleveland Cavaliers beat writer, Brian Windhorst, quoting the Reverend Jesse Jackson.

“Jesse Jackson issues statement on Gilbert: ‘His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave.’”

That was immediately followed by, “More Jackson: ‘LeBron is not a child, nor is he bound to play on Gilbert’s plantation and be demeaned.’”

Powerful words from the man who once made clear his desire to cut candidate Obama’s nuts off.

Mr. Jackson, however, is a Civil Rights leader, and as such, should be considered a man speaking for the entire African-American community. Heck, let’s make his voice the unbridled word of God for ALL minorities. Less bureaucracy that way.

With Jackson’s comment making its way through the interwebs, I think it’s high time we use this opportunity to make something useful come out of this. I think – nay – I know it’s time we make LeBron James the face of slave reparations.

For those of you unfamiliar (white people), slave reparations is the idea that descendants of slaves should be compensated monetarily for their ancestor’s uncompensated labor. Some have also proposed compensating descendants of slaves with land, but since it’s quite obvious that LeBron has had his nuts chopped off by Colonel Gilbert’s frugal checkbook, we’ll focus on financial reparations.

First off, to the critics out there who have been calling Jackson’s comments “race baiting” and “an insult to those who were oppressed by slavery,” I ask that you keep your reason and calm candor out of this issue. This issue is for hysterics who take pride in hyperbole.

While I’m open to suggestions on how LeBron can claim his monetary damages, I have an initial thought on the matter.

Let us impose a “LeBron Tax” on the city of Cleveland. As a Clevelander myself, I think it’s high time we do our part to give back. After all, Cleveland is the only thriving economy within the United States of America.

(In the spirit of full disclosure, I have been asked to make it clear that I don’t currently live within the city of Cleveland, and this tax would in no way affect me.)

As I said, I’m open to suggestions. For instance, I’m not in love with the name of the tax. My vote was for “The King’s Tax,” but someone said it’d be an insult to those who actually served in the Revolutionary War, and I in no way wish to insult those fine patriots. I do, however, invite you to send all suggestions to Confederate Gilbert at the Cleveland Cavaliers’ office. Be sure you write in Comic Sans font, or your letter will never reach his office nor be taken seriously.

The time is right, my fellow Americans, to finally make good on a black mark (no pun intended) on our history. Let us now take this opportunity by using LeBron James, the face of all that is wrong with America, to make things good again in our society. Let us take this opportunity to make LeBron James a symbol of the mistreated African-American population within our great nation. Most importantly of all, let us take this opportunity to keep Reverend Jesse Jackson in the well deserved spotlight for as long as humanly possible.

Editor’s Note: Please write “slave reparations” on the memo portion of your check to LeBron, so he doesn’t confuse it with his endorsement checks.

Joe Baur is the writer/creator of CHOSA Film, Mildly Relevant News, and co-creator of Throw!Kick!Punch!

You can follow Joe B at twitter.com/joebaur42

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Thursday, July 8th, 2010. Your welcome, LeBron James. I’m giving you more desperately need air time, along with a Palin PAC ad and BP’s oil beneath the sand.

Mildly Relevant Sources!
LeBron to Miami [Cleveland.com]
Sarah Palin’s Mama Grizzlies [Political Carnival]
BP only cleaning oil beneath sand [Yahoo! News]

Joe Baur is the writer/creator of CHOSA Film, Mildly Relevant News, and co-creator of Throw!Kick!Punch!

You can follow Joe B at twitter.com/joebaur42

Become a fan of Mildly Relevant Thoughts & Throw!Kick!Punch!

Mildly Relevant Sources!
Vote for the Slavic Village playground in Cleveland, OH [Pepsi Refresh Project]
Anti-incumbency fever high [Los Angeles Times]
Transgendered candidate takes on homophobe incumbent [Tulsa World]

Joe Baur is the writer/creator of CHOSA Film, Mildly Relevant News, and co-creator of Throw!Kick!Punch!

You can follow Joe B at twitter.com/joebaur42

Become a fan of Mildly Relevant Thoughts & Throw!Kick!Punch!

Mildly Relevant Sources!
CBSNews: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20004729-503544.html
Daily Caller: http://dailycaller.com/2010/05/13/muslim-student-association-member-admits-she-wants-jewish-genocide-video/

Joe Baur is the writer/creator of CHOSA Film, Mildly Relevant News (featured on OhMyGov), and co-creator of Throw!Kick!Punch!

You can follow Joe B at twitter.com/joebaur42

Become a fan of Mildly Relevant Thoughts & Throw!Kick!Punch!

Mildly Relevant Sources!
2010 NFL Draft [ESPN]
Jimmy Dimora bribed with lady escort [Cleveland.com]
Dems top GOP in midterm fund-raising [New York Times]
Today’s baseball standings [MLB.com]
Too much cleavage for ABC [Daily Caller]

Joe Baur is the writer/creator of ChicagoNow: Mildly Relevant Thoughts, Mildly Relevant News and co-creator of Throw!Kick!Punch!

You can follow Joe B at twitter.com/joebaur42

Become a fan of Mildly Relevant Thoughts & Throw!Kick!Punch!

Mildly Relevant Sources!
Gov. McDonnell brings back Confederate month [FoxNews]
Reason Saves Cleveland [ReasonTV]
Kevin O’Brien’s April Fool’s Day [Cleveland.com]
Not happy about privatized parking meters [Chicagoist]

Joe Baur is the writer/creator of ChicagoNow: Mildly Relevant Thoughts, Mildly Relevant News and co-creator of Throw!Kick!Punch!

You can follow Joe B at twitter.com/joebaur42

Become a fan of Mildly Relevant Thoughts & Throw!Kick!Punch!.

Click on the picture for the latest episode of Mildly Relevant News.

Joe Baur is the writer/creator of ChicagoNow: Mildly Relevant Thoughts and co-creator of Throw!Kick!Punch!

You can follow Joe B at twitter.com/joebaur42

Become a fan of Mildly Relevant Thoughts & Throw!Kick!Punch!.

When I first moved to Chicago, everyone was telling me wait, “Wait until you experience a Chicago winter,” as if it was the best piece of evidence for natural selection. I told people I’m from Northeast Ohio and grew up with dreaded lake effect snow. Didn’t matter. I hadn’t experienced a Chicago winter, so my experiences growing up in Northeast Ohio were moot.

Wrong.

Forbes recently released a list of worst winter cities. Would you like to take a guess as to which city grabbed the number ones spot?

CLEVELAND, BABY!

That’s right. We’ve finally grabbed the number one spot in something! So no more of this “Chicago winter” nonsense. I grew up near the worst winter city, and will be putting that in my resume.