Please, Pandora. No More Jack Johnson.
Pandora, for those of you who don’t know, is an amazing, free, online music station that caters to your musical interests, playing only what you’re interested in or what you might be interested in hearing. Well… most of the time anyway. Sometimes Pandora feels it’s necessary to ram Jack Johnson, singer-songwriter-beach dweller, down my throat.
I’ve got nothing against Jack Johnson. I’m sure he’s a nice dude, but I simply enjoy more than the same three chords in my music, unless you’re folk Bob Dylan or Johnny Cash. The problem presumably began when I conceded that I enjoyed ONE (note: one) song and gave it the check mark of approval after having already thumbs-downed several other songs before and after this particular song my ear managed to enjoy. Since then, Pandora has decided that there must be another Jack Johnson song out there that I like, no matter how many songs of his I thumb-down.
They’re relentless, I tell ya! The guy has a pretty recognizable voice and I’m fairly certain he’s only able to utter a few syllables before I strike him down with the fury of my mouse click. Someone at Pandora isn’t getting the hint. Maybe he has some ridiculous deal with them that encourages the music station to force listeners to swallow his beach vibes. But that simply doesn’t seem his style. To me, Jack Johnson pops up on the radar of civilization long enough only to record yet another tune inspired by time on the beach before returning to said beach.
“If I Had Eyes,” just came on by Mr. Johnson. I didn’t listen to the song, so I don’t know if the song is about Jack losing his eyes in a freak surfing accident where a shark hopped on his board, plucking out his eyeballs or not. But what I do know is that after giving the song my dissapproval, Pandora went on to play “Keep Ya Head Up” by Tupac, “Jigga What Jigga Who (Live)” by Jay-Z (he’s not saying Jigga!), and now I’m on “Good Times” by Styles from what I’m sure is a critically acclaimed album entitled, “A Gangster and a Gentleman.”
That’s quite the leap, Pandora. Perhaps try something in between Jack Johnson and Tupac before making the transition from beach music to gangster rap. That’s like going from a turtle to a Tasmanian Devil. How about some Arcade Fire?